(via timon-pumba13)
Overload
Everyday I walk around lugging a dead weight with me. It’s not just the tons of notes I arm myself with (though honestly speaking it’s like a brick so I can probably knock out someone out with it). It’s that overwhelming emotional and mental stress. Cliché, but so true. The awful feeling that weighs on your heart like a rock. Knowing this is it. That you can’t afford to screw it like you usually do. And so the weight stays on board the cargo. Stressing the vessel out, threatening to sink it way down bottom into the murky waters.
Pretty much what I m feeling now. Just took the first exam of the season and I can already anticipate the results. Went home feeling so devastated that I actually dreamt about the paper. ._. My mind was conjuring up non-existent killer questions based on the topic and imagining the pathetic responses that I ve written. It’s like some kind of freakish academic nightmare. Except that it seems almost too real to be one.
At least the worst is over. The one that I m in most danger of failing, at least. 4 more papers to go. Shall keep my cool and trudge on.
Time’s ticking
Just received the June exam schedule today.
One piece of bright green paper. Looking so flamboyant and cheerful against all my other sheafs of dead, dull, dreadful-looking paper filled with rigid texts and messy scribbles.
Exam schedules are somehow always made that way. Last year it was a warm yellow. And the year before that was a calm blue.
It’s always so annoyingly radiant like it’s such a merry thing to undergo one and a half weeks of hellish physical/mental torture. And the one month plus of late night cramming I anticipate ahead (though I foresee myself procrastinating and whiling the time away..)
There’s so little time left. Counting down from the reported (funeral) dates that GreenPaper’s gleefully announcing aloud. Just a couple more days to General Paper and I m still barely scratching a pass. 45% is a really frustrating mark to get. It’s like sitting on a pointed-edged fence, feeling awfully uncomfortable but refusing to budge lest you topple into the U yard.
Fine. It’s 1AM in the morning and I m probably not making much sense. For now, I ll just pin up this dumb piece of paper against the wall, stop complaining and starting working, for a change :|
"Things end. People leave. And you know what? Life goes on. Besides, if bad things didn’t happen, how would you be able to feel the good ones?"
- Elizabeth Scott (via kari-shma) (via gatheringstardust)
I M A 17 YEAR OLD GIRL, THOUGH SOMETIMES I THINK I HAVE THE MENTALITY OF A 71 YEAR OLD OLD WITH SERIOUS MIGRAINES.
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